You don't have to pick

“When I remember going through my transition, I wanted to make up my mind one way or the other. I felt like I had to be either this or that. For a couple years I felt like a fish who had lived their whole life in water, and then one day I came up to the shore and realized there is earth, air, humans. On Sundays I would go back to the fish world, and it would feel really comfortable and nice, and I felt like it was right and where I belong. And then on Monday morning I would be back on air and think, ‘No, this is real too.’ So I felt conflicted and thought, ‘What am I? Am I going to be a fish or live on land? I have to pick one.’ Some people do have to pick, but for me I realized I don’t have to pick and I don’t have to know. I don’t have to have certainty anymore. It’s OK to realize I don’t know, and I probably will never know. I probably won’t be able to make up my mind, and that’s OK. Dwelling in that middle space is perfectly fine. You don’t have to pick.”